I Don’t Have A Bed And I Dream Of One

I will admit one thing that nobody knows until now. I have’t laid my back to sleep at home in a real bed since July of 2007. Kind of a little weird, but a fact.

So, how did this happen? Simple. I just didn’t have a bed.

There were previous beds, each one came with grey stories. They were all big and I was young at that time. But there was a time that even in high school, lying on my blue metal framed bed at night scared me. Like it would swallow me.

The first bed I remeber was on the uppder deck of a double bunk. I was six years old. I never laid my back there. I was always scared of bad spirits that can enter my body and I will not be able to escape because its high that I’d have to jump off of it or ladder it down quickly so I can go to my mother’s room. Just so you know, I always had trouble sleeping at night because of recurring nightmares that haunted me until morning.

My next bed was my grandfather’s. He’s already dead because of a heart attack when I had it. I wasn’t even scared of it. But eveytime I see it, I’d go to it and I will fall asleep for hours. And hours. Like I thought it had special powers. I remember one time I’m all ready to go to school. Then I was summoned by its softness and the calming feeling it radiates. The heavy haze by my eye lashes persisted and all of a sudden I woke up very late for school.

Then my blue bed in my sophomore year. My grandmother died in it. She died in it and I saw she was on there and how she exhaled her last breath.

Its the bed that always shook. I couldn’t even believe it. I shook even when I was awake lying down at noon, night or at three o’clock in the morning. Emerenciana Gomez, she died in it.

The last bed I had was made in Canada. It was a sturdy bed that I loved. It was a solo so it was just wide enough. I had it in the first half of 2007. It’s cool. But its a bed that also shook. I asked one of the uncles that brought it home and told me it was a bed from a hospital in North America. Wow. So, many people died in it, huh? And it shook and something knocks on the headboard like at anytime.

Then, they tore it apart and got the plies of wood for another woody project at home. So its over.

Then I had to sleep in sofas, on the floor, connected dining seats, under the dining table, under another bed and all.

Then I ran away from home. I had a car where I slept most of the time, then atthe RPN 9 news office inside a scary old UMatic tapes library.

Then, all of us at home didn’t have beds. Since 2009 when Ondoy’s surge devastated all of our things execept for our house we lost them. We’re back to zero. Now we’re at 40 percent recovery. We never bought beds since then.

We do not want any bed. We do not need any bed. Are we all gonna die bedless?

Oh, God help me get a bed that didn’t make me sleep for too long or shook on its own so I can get off this built-in table by the white wall.

Here’s a collection of photos where sometimes I desperately wanted to lie down anywhere public. Even if other people can see me. Lol.

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About pinoyjournalist

Journalist. Son. Bum. Bored.Inspired. Loves. Loved. Runs. Backpacker wanna be. Silently noisy. Dreamer. Believer.
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