It was around 3 o’clock when I wasn’t sure what just happened to me. When all of a sudden my surrounding became unclear that I would struggle for breath. Atleast, that’s what I felt. Then I woke up many times in different scenarios in one situation. It was very hard and my head throbbed.
This has not happened for many years and I hope it didn’t comebackfor good. The dreams– or atleast that’s what I thought they are. I had it.
I lay my smartphone on the side table by the bunk when I thought I would love to sleep again. I hoped for a brighter and energized morning before I knew I had to postpone sleep for the night and do it in the morning. Because I’m afraid it would happen again.
The execution of my fantastic waking up multiple times in along dream fooled me that I thought I was already awake only to find out that I wasn’t. The weird fact is that in the dream I know that I am not awake that I need to wake up to stop fear from getting the good of me while I’m having temporary flaccid paralysis.
Darkened images of my brother and mother in the dream took me to different places in our house. It began when I woke up because my mother slept beside me and hugged her and then I saw her eyes– icy and shiny blue. Every piece of me shivered eventhough I wasn’t cold. Fear seeped in my head because I knew she wasn’t my mother– that my mother was downstairs sleeping. She looked at me like I’ve done something terribly wrong. Like I would be scolded. That’s when I knew I wasn’t awake. Enough of the imitation I told the woman in my mind, still dreaming it.
Then I stood up in my dream and struggled to get away from my blanket that covered my legs that’s tons and tons heavy. I made it to the floor. Then I woke up. In the dream, the impostor was gone.
I scanned my phone for messages thankful that I have finally awoken. Then I attempted to sleep again, but I wasn’t feeling the fan. I knew I wasn’t awake yet. Then I fought a sudden numbness in me. Then I woke up. Got my pillow and went to my brother’s bed. I lay beside him. Then he mumbled something like an approval its okay that I will lay my weary back beside him. He knows I’m scared. Both of us are scared in the house. Then, I realized the voice was wrong. It wasn’t his. Still, I wasn’t awake. But In my dream I was very sleepy that I fell asleep and dreamt in the dream.
I was very far away. I woke up, still beside my brother. Then he was inside a glass wall that seperated us. He said I should go to sleep. Then I remebered I wasn’t awake yet. I stood up suddenly fighting many people through my way to the light switch. But I was downstairs, my mother sleeping, I thought of lying beside her. Then I remembered I was reaching for the light switch. I was back upstairs. The people were all gone, when I turned the switch on, it wouldn’t light. Then I snored. Thanks for it I was finally awake. Its now 4 o’clock in the morning. I will wait for the sun to conquer the night. Then, I will lay flat on the bed and be safe in the light.
I will never ever sleep in the dark.